There are a million things that can go wrong when you are trying to get someone you love to come back to you. Then again, there are a million things that work in your favor. Instead of dwelling on the doubts that are rightfully in the back of your mind, now is the time to boost your confidence and focus on the positives.
A Calculated First Step
The first step that you take toward letting your ex know that you want them back will determine the direction your future interactions lead. A calculated, planned out first move is a necessity if you want the future to be in the direction of a restored relationship rather than a severed relationship that cannot get back on track.
So, what should this first move be? You really have two basic options here:
1. Let your ex know in a direct fashion that you want them back.
2. Do it in a subtle way that gradually leads them to want you back, without outright saying you want them back as well.
Which one you choose is largely up to the personality of the person you are dealing with as well as how many clues they may be sending you regarding their feelings for you (or lack thereof). If you have reason to believe that they have some lingering feelings toward you or if you still talk to them regularly and have a friendly relationship still, you may want to choose the first option and select the appropriate moment to let them know how you are feeling.
You don’t want to go overboard with emotion here. Simply find a moment when you are alone and let them know that you think about them and it’s not in a “just friends” way. Don’t expect them to drop into your arms immediately or even to react on the spot. Just inform them that you wanted them to know and back off. Wait to see how they respond to you.
If you aren’t in contact with them and aren’t sure how they are feeling, then dropping some subtle clues and slowly re-introducing yourself into their life may be the better option.
If you don’t get the response you wanted from your first move or your ex seems anything but open to a new relationship with you, it’s time to back off and give them some space. You don’t want to completely disappear from their life, but you don’t want to be in their face like a stalker, either. Strike a balance by bumping into them as you can yet keeping your distance.
It should be clear that you are open to communication if they need someone to talk to, but you should be sending the signal that you have moved on with your life.
It’s a good thing to start taking other people out and spending time with new people. This is not done to make your ex jealous (though jealousy is a sign they still care for you), but rather as a way of occupying your time and testing whether you are in fact wanting your ex back or if you just want someone to be with. If they end up back in your arms it was meant to be, but if not you have already taken steps to move on without them.
To give yourself the best chance of winning them back quickly, click here first to follow a proven path towards getting back for good.