Years of marriage can often lead to a diminished spark in the relationship. What was once passionate is now mapped out to a science. You may even feel neglected by your wife as they pursue more invigorating activities while you focus on more male driven pastimes of sports and leisure. Whether you are in the middle of a messy divorce, trial separation or strangers in your own household, if you want to win your wife’s love back you have to start by rebuilding the fire. It sounds much harder than it really is. And, if you love her, it’s well worth the fight.
First, you will have to improve yourself. Become a better person by exercising, taking enrichment courses or by doing something mentally stimulating that will give you a sense of accomplishment. By doing this, it will make you feel better about yourself and, in turn, exude a confidence that your wife will find sexy and reminiscent of your more youthful days.
Second, don’t try too hard. This can often seem desperate and insincere and nothing will turn her off more than those two things. Instead, try to remain engaged but not always desperately available. Try filling a part of your schedule with things conducive to your well-being. This new sense of self-love will have her looking at you in a different light.
Thirdly, have a positive attitude. Nothing destroys the mood more than negativity. Rehashing old issues or bringing out sour emotions is a quick reminder of why your relationship is on the rocks. Try emanating all the qualities she loves most about you. This will help her remember why you two fell in love in the first place and can help reignite the flame.
Fourthly, have patience. Your relationship will not be repaired overnight. We wish it could be that easy, but it’s not. Instead, try enjoying the time you get to reacquaint yourself with her. Learn new things together and, ultimately, learn new things about yourself. Keeping things fresh is a way to rebuild emotional connections.
Lastly, start “dating” again. It may sound silly, but taking your wife out as you did when you were younger can breathe new life into your relationship. You could even openly date other women, although this tactic is not always recommend as feelings of jealousy can sometimes debilitate the progress you’ve already made. Try taking her somewhere fun in the beginning, as too much romance can be overkill. Try learning a new craft or going somewhere educational – conversation and emotional connection are what need to be rebuilt.
Winning your wife’s love back can be an extremely rewarding experience for both of you. If you play your cards correctly, you could have a relationship that is fulfilling on many levels. Remember, love is always the bottom line.
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