Staying Together After An Affair – Will It Work Out?

One of the most devastating things a couple can go through is infidelity.  Even though there are different levels to cheating, cheating is still cheating so what do you do when your spouse cheats on you?  There are many factors to consider when you find out your partner cheated on you, one on which being is you are going to forgive him or her for it and move on.

When you first get into a relationship it is good to know where you each stand on certain things when it comes to cheating.  There are different levels of cheating and the type of cheating that has been done will help to determine if you are able to forgive and move on.  For instance some people think it is ok to do a little harmless flirting where others see this as a form of cheating.  There are people who think that going in chat rooms online is just fine but others may see this as a form of having an affair.  Then you have an all out affair where you partner is seeing someone else behind your back.

These are all things to discuss with your partner right up front so you each know where you stand when it comes to cheating and affairs.  Unfortunately, most couples do not do this and end up fighting later on in the relationship over what one considers cheating and the other doesn’t.  If you catch your partner having an affair, your first instinct is to end the relationship.  But what if you really love this person and they are genuinely distressed and sorry about their infidelity?

You can move past the affair if you can forgive and you understand the circumstances.  Were the two of you having trouble in the relationship?  Were you not giving your partner what he or she needs and wants?  Perhaps they were feeling neglected in the relationship and then someone came along who was paying attention to him or her.  You can look at this as they were not trying to have an affair but trying to fill the void you created by the neglect.  In other words they really had no feelings for the other person and they were just trying to get your attention.

Going about getting your attention should never come to an affair as two wrongs do not make a right.  The best thing to do is talk with your partner after you both have had time to think things through.  Find out where your partner’s heart really lies and if he or she really wants things to work out.  If this is the case then you can learn to forgive the affair and focus on making your relation better so that you are both meeting each others needs and wants.

Keep the lines of communication open and always make time for each other.  While you will most likely feel as if you will never be able to trust your partner again, it is possible for them to earn your trust back.  Time heals all wounds so the best thing you can do is give things time and take it slow when getting back into the relationship.

To give yourself the best chance of winning them back quickly, click here first to follow a proven path towards getting back for good.